Lord, i'm not fit to give advice. i'm lost at times with just what to say and do.
even he has to tell me "learn how to play".
"she always look at us".
i have nothing against him.

it is true.
i always look.
I hardly play
I hardly involve myself.
i draw back.
he brought up something I hate much about myself.

i cannot remember my childhood.
i don't remeber playing lego
I don't remember reading bedtime stories
I don't remember playing hide and seek
I don't recognise the games they mentioned

I dunno.
there are times when I will speak.
please don't hurt where it hurt most.
becos it really hurts
i listen, i do.
like how I think he's so creative with wild ideas
even if he's so young

no one likes the hanging silence
i fear facing this part of me.
sometimes this is able to make me cry.

when i finally speak
words seem to come out wrongly.
they are all nice to me, they listen.
they listen to me.
thankyou for accepting my flaws.



for her:
lord, keep her with you. may your grace be upon them. she has a heart that impacted me much, to learn how to truly care for someone. but Lord, we are humans, with our very weakness, and uncertainties in our very actions. She's asking if it's right or wrong. Do you also feel that there is no answer? sometimes using our heart to love can be dangerous. but when we do not use our hearts, it's not love anymore. love can bring us through the danger. this love can mean family love, friendship love, and all the loves in the world. lord, am I right?

for her:
there are many things spinning around in her life. many thoughts. in the nights, they seem to flood. thoughts that aint too peaceful. they seem to be like dooors. doors to be opened. yet to open this door, or that, worries come. all becos she cares much for her dear ones. when the heart has the desire yet nothing seem to be changing, sometimes we may ask if you, Lord, have forgotten us. when we have been thinking of it for quite time, yet nothing seems to happen, we lose faith or get upset. trust is sometimes soo challenging. as a friend, how can i help her, Lord?

for her:
Lord, she's someone whom when I die...she'll be crying. I would ask you, can you give me a minute to stand close with her...just be close with her. I often feel I'm not around with her, I often feel I don't understand her thoughts anymore. i know from James, when we draw near to you, you'll come near to us. i know... we need you. yet sometimes we don't take the step to draw close to you. becos we fear, becos we are tired of ourselves, becos.. each time we fail you, each time we are hardly shining like stars in the universe, the depth of pain must have been deep. one day I believe she will come near to you god.

for them:
Lord...everytime we meet, after we meet, beautiful thoughts make me smile and appreciate them. I thank you. i thank you. may i learn to love more and more.